I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
third nipple confirmed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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