I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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