How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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