two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
