I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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