I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
