she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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