In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
