I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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