so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
