wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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