Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
