i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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