is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
