'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
