Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize