Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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