I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm both gender and math confused
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
