Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
