we're blogging at a bar
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
