I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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