I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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