i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
