i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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