Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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