Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize