You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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