my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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