Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize