summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
