Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
