with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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