my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
