My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
