im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
