I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
