your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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