can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
