I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
