I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
