Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
