I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
