there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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