I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
