My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
