I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
