the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
