Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
