my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
