help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
