i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
