Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize