It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize