Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
