Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
