i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
