Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have demons in me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
