i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize