she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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