I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
