I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
