I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
