It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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